would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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