Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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