i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I want to be your penis for a week.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
