I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize