just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
