I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Randomize
