yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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