I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize