So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
