Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Less talking, more tequila
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
