I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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