woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
