This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize