$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
