he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
