can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
