I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
