Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
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