I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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