Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
