ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Randomize
