so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
