Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
And then he peed in my hair
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