Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Randomize
