He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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