So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
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