if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
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