3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
