No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
