Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
