ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
did you just send me my own nude
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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