Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize