What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Randomize
