in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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