i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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