My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
