I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
