i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
