I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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