Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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