I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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