the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Randomize