I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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