yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
