he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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