so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
