And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
