That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
