Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize