You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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