Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
