my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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