I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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