Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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