Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
