i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I smell stomach acid.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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