My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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