maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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