May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
