New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
A+ Viking dick
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Randomize
