Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
