A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
