wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
