what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize