My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
