evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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